So, it has been a week of a lot of pain and frustration at my endometriosis pain and the incumbant emotional issues that come with it.
It has been dark in so many ways but the light has come from my children and family, of course, my wonderful friends and also from the sense of achievement I have had in managing to keep training for the Boutique Sport Run in July, where I plan to run 10k to raise money for Endometriosis UK.
If you havent sponsored me, you can do so on my Just Giving page. Please do so, every little will go towards awarenss raising and help for this chronic condition.
I have my eyes on the prize and it is getting me out there on the roads of St Ives with my little legs running with determination. Endometriosis affects my depression greatly too, and in all honestly I think the running is keeping me grounded. On a really bad day, if pain has had me in tears and I have felt isolated and low, if I go for a run and focus on my goal of increasing my distance and speeds slowly slowly, it helps me get through it. I hear my friends cheer me on on Facebook while I use my Nike +GPS which spurs me on.
I am still overweight by about a stone, but things are tightening up and feeling less wobbly which boosts my confidence. I am on a journey with #projectendo, running, health, nutrition, and finding new limits to go beyond.
And I have a new goal.
The wonderful Bangs and a Bun took a team of ladies to tun the Paris Half Marathon last year. I watched the progress of the team from the confines of pain and my worsening condition through to a much awaited operation and convalescence from my last laparoscopy. I have had 5 in total to remove endometriosis, and it always comes back, but I experience some relief from the symptoms for a month or two.
As I watched Bangs and the girls train I longed to get out there running again. Being confined to bed on painkillers had made my weight increase. In 2009 I lost all the baby weight from having the twins yet in a few months of being inactive and on codeine it had all piled back on, with a bit more. My state of mind spiralled down and confidence left the building.
I am coming back out of the dip and getting myself back on track, bit by bit. I have the Boutique Run 10k in July as my first goal, but you see Bangs has now announced a callout for Team Bangs on the Run part 2, a team of girls to run the Nike Run to the Beat in September.
I have sent my application and I so hope to be part of the final 13.
I want to blog about my progress, to keep others who are depressed or in pain inspired. I want to overcome my weight issues, my pain and my mind to get to a new level of fitness and determination.
I hope I can inspire mums to get out there and re-find themselves and to gain back confidence. I hope I can encourage my endo sisters to run and manage the pain, and I hope I can show some hope to people who, like me, are affected so much by chronic pain.
I want to be part of something with a team of ladies who rock all around me.
The successful team of 13 will hear on the 23rd May if they are in. And I so hope to be.
If you want to see me in the team tweet ~@jojogifford for #teambangsontherun to @bangsandabun and help my little campaign
Comment on this blog, send me your encouragement and hopefully maybe, just MAYBE I will get in.
And I promise this, if the pain is do bad on the day of the race that I can’t run, I will walk the damn thing with a smile on my face and get to the finish line, so help me Universe.
That’s all for now.