On today’s training ride for Cycletta I realised a few things:
1. My bum hurts when I wear a dress, leggings and Converse as opposed to proper cycling stuff.
2. I am a lot less fit than I was last year and I have a half marathon and 40k bike ride to train for.
3. The Fenlands are beautiful, actually, in Summer – I love the sticks although I miss London terribly. Maybe I need a pad in both…#dreamondreamer…
4. Today its that hazy heat that reminds me of nearly school holidays, playing outside all the time, and art on a Friday afternoon at school.
5. I love being outside.
What did you do this Friday afternoon? x
In case you missed it, lovely Diva Readers, I am doing two events this Autumn to raise money for endometriosis – yes, TWO!
I am running Run to the Beat again in October, ( you may remember my Team Bangs memorable achievement last Autumn), and cycling 40 kilometres in September as part of Cycletta.
I would love, love LOVE for you to sponsor me here if you are at all able. Remember I am in pain for a lot of the time, so training for stuff like this is a big deal for me. If I only manage to walk it or crawl it, I will do it.
This post is dedicated to someone who has given me so much support over the last two years, and who has generously sponsored my travel and accommodation for Cycletta to enable it to happen.
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I love this photo – the mixture of smugness/tiredness and check-me-out-mother-earth makes me chuckle. At Farm Club, St Ives for the Mini’s birthday party.
Well, it has been one helluva week lovely readers and I feel like I need to give you a fly-past update to keep it all logged, blogged and tidy.
So. Last Saturday I felt so ill. So, very ill, and I wrote this post; I honestly felt I had reached the stage where I was not living any more, just existing, after months, YEARS or feeling so so ill, tired, sore, fatigued, dizzy, anxious, everything.
I simply cannot explain to you how my life has shrunk, how being so unwell such a lot of the time makes your world go from being a dynamic and fun filled place to surviving from one sofa and painkiller fuelled nap to the next. Unless your health has ever been so poor it is really hard to describe the sensation of living in such a chronically pained, exhausted body.
So, I reached rock bottom and decided to try. But try harder. This time LISTEN to the universe when it gives me everything lined up in order to get myself sorted. I have been high raw this last week, something I spoke about here on the blog over a year ago ( have a look through some of the post on the Project Endo category to see my journey).
Here is what the universe has lined up for me this time to succeed… Read More >
It is my pleasure to introduce the lovely Helena, (@mummymode on Twitter), who is now working with me on Cherry Sorbet and Dexterous Diva work thanks to the wonders of Twitter! It’s wonderful working with another writer whose life is like mine – 2 children and pain and exhaustion, although I would never wish it on anyone. I am grateful for endo, and to social media for connecting us. Over to my soul sista Helena….thanks darling for sharing your journey. x
I suffer from endometriosis, a condition that has permeated every aspect of my life for over ten years. At its worst I am in severe pain three weeks of every month and require hospitalisation and morphine for some respite. I think it’s important to empower other women and to talk about it but at the same time to not let a serious illness define your personality; the worse I feel the more mascara and nice outfits I wear as that is me, not the hideous pain I am feeling. I call it the art of illusion. The attitude I adopt is one of a ‘if you put a brick wall in front of me I’d still try and walk through it’. Quite clearly the endo is my weakness, but I see it more as a strength – it is the one thing that has made me dig deep enough to pursue my career in writing and my dreams of a gorgeous family, as if this idiotic disease can’t stop me then nothing will.
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Don’t worry, I haven’t gone all self-smug mummy blogger on you. Well, not yet anyway. We went to Farm Club this weekend and planted some veg. Then ate a lot of cake. Yip.
Please. Stop it now. It looks daft.
This week has been such a rollercoaster in the life of an endo warrior that I have to share some of it with you, Diva Readers.
Seeing yourself in the mirror of life-long friends is always a grounding experience. This week I had a great day out with one of my oldest buddies Jo. We went to the X Factor for Freya, so had a girly London day out stalking Gary Barlow and catching up over coffees. Brilliant.
The background info however, is slightly less glamorous; I had a terrible night’s sleep prior to our trip to town, as my pain was so bad. Little sleep means more pain as I need total rest to have a body that functions without being tense and exhausted, so I knew I was heading up for a week of being slightly broken.
By 3pm on Tuesday I was in tears in the loos at the O2, beaten by pain and exhaustion and needing to go home – Jo said she glanced over as we sat watching auditions, saw my face change and drain of all colour and knew we had to go. Read More >