Honesty can be a tricky thing.
Living with endometriosis and pain on a daily basis, albeit on different levels, I have found my coping methods so much easier when being honest. Honest to myself, my partner, our support network.
It’s just so much less hassle than pretending all is fine and that I don’t need help.
I used to struggle a great deal with asking for help. I also used to struggle immensely with accepting things as they are. “it’s not fair”, “I shouldnt have this thing”, etc, etc.
Well, I do have it and that’s that.
Being honest with myself has made life so much easier.
Being honest with my partner means he knows straight away when I am in too much pain to manage the kids on my own, so we switch straight to plans b and c without him going to work and having me ringing up in tears a few hours later as I am in too much pain to move.
Honesty with friends is easy, or at least it should be.
Letting people you love and who love you down is always difficult, but the ones who really, REALLY know you will totally understand.
They wouldn’t want you to go to party if the physical effort of standing up and talking has you crippled with pain.
And if they don’t get it? re-evaluate that friendship.
Because endo is an unseen thing, we look normal and it’s easy to think that it’s mind over matter. A lot of it is, coping with daily life is mind over matter, believe me.
But when the level of acceptable pain goes beyond a certain threshold there is no way in the world you can “get on with it”.
Honesty in the workplace is difficult, but worth it.
In the days when I had a “proper job” I had fabulous bosses who knew about my condition. It rarely affected my work, but if I ever had to work from home on occasion they were flexible, and whenI needed to take time off for my operations they knew why.
Endo doesn’t affect my brain or creative ability, so it doesn’t make me any less an employee. Still, knowing there is a chronic condition that affects my life can feel like a blot on the CV. Don’t let it become a black mark against you, tell employers all about it and if nothing else you are raising awareness.
I am self employed these days which makes things much easier to cope with, but there are still occasions when I need to be honest with clients, colleagues, associates.
I have often not been able to attend events and I tell people why. It means they are less likely to consider me unreliable if they know the truth, I am raising awareness, and more often than not the people I am telling know someone with endo and understand. 1 in 10 women have it, after all.
Honesty helps me cope.
Do you find honesty hard to do? What holds you back?