You really need to be reading this over here on BitchBuzz.com…..
Entries from February 28th, 2011
Posted on: Monday, February 28, 2011
Posted on: Sunday, February 27, 2011
Posted on: Sunday, February 27, 2011
Hello there lovely people reading my blog. I hope you are all well, fine and dandy and that you enjoyed a great weekend.
I have just had 4 days of timetable suspension celebrating Miles’30th (toy boy alert) and am preparing to get back to the usual weekly thang tomorrow.
Activities involved general mooching, Tate Modern for soul restoration, and checking out the Street Photography expo at the Museum of London which is well worth a look; it was packed this weekend, but it’s on until September so pop in when things are less hectic.
We stayed in the City which was great – I used to live in the East End but I love seeing London in a different way when you wake up in a new bit of it. The Old Smithfields market in the rain makes for an interesting backdrop as is undergoes a facelift, and the quiet streets of EC1 on a Sunday morning are like a ghost town. The Crowne Plaza leaves a lot to be desired though. Despite the Lastminute.com deal we enjoyed, we had to wait for a room to be free (no complimentary coffee while we waited either), and when the green light was finally given the lift opened onto a floor of paint tins, sheets and decorators. Hmmm, beware the Secret Hotel deals is what we say….
In other news, since my video blog last week things have been great with my health. I have been the smoothie queen and have upped my raw food intake to around 60 %, still keeping wheat and dairy free. I signed up for news and recipes from the lovely Polly Noble who is local to me in Cambs (check out her raw food workshop events too) and I am , as ever, inspired by the fabulous Shazzie.
I have had more energy, my skin is brighter, and my natural hunger levels are much more reduced when I fill my body with good stuff. I am actually feeling addicted to my 12 a day after even one week of being the juice moose so I am already hooked on the benefits of ingesting fresh enzymes and pure goodness in a smoothie hit. Financially my transition hasn’t seemed as bad as I feared; my excuse system was always that to eat raw and fresh is more money and we can’t afford it as a family of 4. In actual fact although soya milk costs a little more than cow,s things like my reduced alcohol consumption make up for some extra fruit in the week. I have my eye on a juicer once the budget allows, to make the most of getting fresh juice from fruit and veg. Any recommendations for a good one?
This week I plan to tackle my caffeine intake on #Projectendo and to start cutting back on my cuppas – I tend to drink 3-4 cups a day and I am hooked on my fresh coffee in the morning, so I will start swapping for green tea to reduce the cortisol spike addiction. This may result in a grumpy monster as I get used to less of the good beans, but for the long run worth the pain. I hope.
I am going to bring in Raw Mondays from tomorrow, going raw every Monday to help redress the balance of weekends, a few rum and cokes and over indulgence. Join me for the challenge if you want to, I will be trying out new raw food recipes and reporting back as my health progresses.
Have a good one, people. Until next time x
PS I lost 4 pounds this week.
Posted on: Wednesday, February 23, 2011
See my story on this new street style website over on BitchBuzz.com.
Posted on: Sunday, February 20, 2011
Posted on: Friday, February 18, 2011
So. It’s Friday 18th February and I am writing a little post to update y’all on my little journey.
This week, as you know, things took a little step back from my onwards and upwards plan. My endo pain has been bad on Tuesday and Wed, Thurs and today I am in a lot of pain and extremely fatigued.I went to bed last night at 6pm and I am still exhausted.
It is the start of London Fashion Week today. I was supposed to be in London from yesterday afternoon, and right now I am due to be having tea and gluten free cakes with my blogging crew at Bake a Boo, but instead I am jotting down a blog post in bed.
I am, as always, disappointed that I am not where I thought was going to be. But, as always, I have had to re-jig and reschedule. I am getting used to the fact that endometriosis is a fact of my life, and I am finally, FINALLY accepting that there will still be days like this for a while.
Yes, I hate letting people down. Yes, I hate cancelling. Yes, I get frustrated. Over the last couple of days however, I have been looking at what I have gained from my endo as oppsoed to what it has taken away, and it has really helped my mindset. We have our twins, which Miles and I would not have tried for as early as we did if I didn’t have endo; I have my own business, which I wouldnt have had health not played a huge part in turning my life around; I am my own boss, so when I have to re-schedule the buck stops with me; I have empathy for others in pain; I am more in tune with my body than perhaps I would be if all was hunky dory.
As I said in my earlier post, last week I cut wheat out from my diet, and this week I have added dairy exclusion to the mix – I am 100% convinced this is a major part of the fatigue I am feeling at the moment.
I don’t know much about a healing crisis – nutritionists and health people out there, please tell me – but I would think that if I am having withdrawal symptoms from a food group then pain and endo symptoms may be worse for a while? When I cut out wheat last week I had a migraine 3 days into the week and a stuffy nose which lasted for about 5 days. This week I had pain in Tuesday and have felt tired, achy, heavy limbed and headachy with a bloated abdomen all week. Attractive, no? Oh, and halfway during the week in a moment of “creativity” I dyed my hair bright pinky red. It remains to be seen if the new aquisition will stay, or wether it was merely some teenage angst coming out in the detox I need BLEACH to sort out my handiwork…
I had some lovely Tweets and emails this week from people with advice. I have been recommended a raw food and yoga specialist, an iridologist, and have been chatting to a lovely nutritionist I know through Bitch Buzz. Maybe I should give everyone a go and report back?
As Friday comes and it’s been what looks like a write off of a week, it is fantastic to realise how much other stuff I have achieved. When I am knocked out physically I can still get on and work on projects from home, and a lot of exciting things have been bubbling away under the surface.
It’s Mile’s birthday next week so we have a few days together which I am really looking forward to. The Staff are looking after the Ninos for a night too so we are escaping to a hotel for a night off which will be great. I will save cutting out sugar, caffeine and booze until after that and I need to pick the order I cut my vices down in. Any advice?
My aims this weekend are to enjoy my family, get out there and do a mummy run with the pram (my biceps are thanking me!) and to go with the flow.
In the meantime, I am pink, positive and pro active. Hope you are the same.
Posted on: Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Happy Tuesday lovely people, I hope you are all having a fab day.
I had lot of supportive tweets and emails from my post yesterday, and I appreciate knowing you are all out there rooting for me.
Today was a bit of a step back, and as part of any journey these unexpected problems will be part of the process.
So, what happened? My old friend endo came to play today. I was up, ready and dressed for the pram run having bathed the girls, fed us all breakfast, washed up, put a wash on, tidied, hoovered, changed the cots, cleaned the floors and the usual stuff I do before 9am. The usual mummy stuff.
I knew I was tired but as I kept going I realised it was more than the type of tiredness I can talk myself out of, but this was the familiar exhaustion I know only too well. My belly began to swell and bloat out as it does on the “bad” days and the white hot pain began to increase more and more.
This debiliating effect always has an emotional impact on me. Firstly, cancelling plans I have for the day makes me feel like I am letting people down. There is always a threshold of “if I try to go I will be ok” that I have to judge and weigh up before I make the call that today is a loose trousers, no make up and chill day. Making that judgement always fills me with dread. Am I pushing myself enough? Too much? Should I be good to myself and rest of push myself further to achieve?
As someone who works hard and always strives to better myself that kind of balancing trick can often be tricky to make. Also, the main factor in deciding what I can and cannot deal with is the fact that I am in sole charge of my beloved bambinos. I want to do the very best by them, to look after them and give them the love and care they deserve, which becomes increasingly difficult as the pain gets worse.
We are very kucky indeed to have a support network around of family and friends. However, I am acutely aware that I can’t ask for help too often as poeple gave their time generously last year when I was incapacitated for the latter quarter of 2010, and frankly I don’t want to wear people out, in patience or in energy.
I made the choice today to call the nursery and see if the girls could pop along earlier than theire scheduled 1pm session. Luckily they had room, so I was able to get them over there by 10.30, meaning I could take some much needed painkillers and rest without worrying.
This broke my heart as I felt terrible to not have my time with the girls this morning that I would have done, and I had to give msyelf a stern talking to as I sobbed over handing my precious bundles over for someone else to care for.
The fact I have endometriosis IS NOT MY FAULT. I am working towards putting in place a lifestyle and way of living/eating/being that is the optimum way to cope with this chronic illness and I should be proud I am on that journey.
I was aware today that someone I spoke to last week had made a comment which stuck in my head; she is an older lady who mentioned tha so many people she kmows now have endo. She observed that there are so many more people than in her day; “perhaps we just used to have to get on with it”. I commented at the time that the rise in figures is down to increased awareness, more diagnosis, but also the rise in chemicals we ingest and absorb in out daily lives.
This woman doesn’t know me, the condition, and she is not an exper on the subject yet the implication that it’s somethng her generation would just “get on with” stuck in my subconscious and surfaced today as I struggled to make my choices. Am I not trying hard enough? Should I “get on with it”?
I decided to forgive her, and everyone else who makes comments about something they have no idea about. I can’t harbour their remarks, assumptions and careless comments as they will eat away at my soul when I am working to hard to replenish it.
I have a condition which causes chronic pain and I am dealing with it. Mostly with a smile, sometimes with tears, but usually with positivity.
My journey continues. Tomorrow is a new day, and if it is a bad day I will deal with it. It will be fine.
Do people who mean well have an impact on your life without realising it?
How do you cope with a chronic conditon?
Oh, and if you have ideas and recipes for wheat free food etc then drop me a line, I will share my progress on this blog and I would love you to be part of the conversation.
Until next time.
Posted on: Monday, February 14, 2011
Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know I am embarking on another journey into weight loss. To cut a very long story short, here is the deal: I am 5″3 and at my weight has always fluctuated between 9 and 11 stones. The happiest I have ever been with my weight and body was at 29, when I used to cycle down the Regents Canal to work every day ( an hour each way), and I ran 3 times a week. (here I am with my trusty steed Steve, and mincing around in Venice).
So. Where are we now? Well, fast forward one nervous breakdown, giving birth to twins and the return of endometriosis which kept me bed bound for most of last year (do read the other blog entries if you have the time/inclination!) and here we are.
I lost my baby weight withing 4 months courtesy of Weight watchers and Exercise. I then did a 3 month mainly raw food detox and felt amazing. When my endo came back badly so did depression and the ability to keep on top, so I fell off the bandwagon and let it all go again, thus putting it aaaaaall back on. And a bit more.
I am now 11 stone 3, which is a stone above healthy weight range for my height and 1.5 stone above what I feel healthy with when I am fit and healthy/active.
Amazingly, the universe tends to provide hints and tips, in it’s own all encompassing way. I had an operation for my endometriosis in December and I am now so thrilled to be able to live life again without constant pain. I still have bad days which I need to roll with, but at the moment I am in a reduced pain cycle of life again.
I have always been intrigued by the raw food movement since reading Shazzie’s blog 5 years ago, and I have dipped my toes a few times. I know I have candida which makes me feel exhausted, foggy head, bloated and other lovely symptoms I won’t go into here. I have tried on occasion to do radical detoxes but always given up when the detoc symtoms get too hard.
So, the universe provides me with lovely friends who encourage me. The lovely Cate Sevilla told me about a book called “Excuses, Begone!” by Wayne Dyer which is currently revolutionising my thinking patterns, literally undoing a lifetime of reasons I don’t live my life to the full. Muireann and her Team Bangs on the Run team have been inspiring me to get out and run, with Bangs and a Bun’s motivational pep talk which hit the spot for the last week.Bit like locker room bollocking from the coach
I have also recently met a lovely new buddy in my office base in Covent Garden who runs her own detox company and has been through a similar journey with candida and weight. She has encouraged me to give it another go, so, with the wisdom of knowing that I have 2 young children to look after and I need to go easy on myself I am embarking on a detox in stages.
Last week I elimiated wheat from my diet, this week it’s dairy. The migraine of last week reminded me how harsh detox symptoms can be and that I need to go step by step ( that’s just my own opinion, by the way! )After my OH’s 30th weekend in a fortnight – yep, I have a toy boy – I will cut out yeast, sugar (including fructose) and booze too, in stages. I plan to do this for at least 3 months to get rid of any candida holding me up and then re-introduce fruit and yeast into my diet but keeping the wheat out.
I once paid a decent amount of money for the amazing advice of Diane Shepperson Mills, a specialist of endometriosis and endocrine disorders. Through this and the huge amount of research I have conducted over the years I KNOW that the best diet or way of eating for me is high raw (60% and over), organic, wheat and dairy free. I know that alcohol depletes B vitamins, I know that wheat makes me bloat and that hormone injected meat plays havoc with my already haywire hormones.
Yet, I dont eat this way.
My excuses are that I am a mum of 2 and we are living on a limited budget. It is very hard to feed us all and eat in the way I want to, BUT excuses be gone! I need to find a way.
Today I have been for a run with my girls in the pram. Only 20 minutes but I have been doing it for the last few days and it’s something. By 7pm I am usually shattered and either working or ready for bed, so I need to find ways that work for me. We plan to get a trailer for Steve the bike soon so that will help, and I aim to restart yoga.
I am being a bridesmaid for my sister in law to be in September and I want to be back to my ideal weight by then. Above all, I want to be healthy, active and happy.
I am following the new Weightwatchers Pro Points plan at the moment too, to keep an eye on my food intake versus movement and I have only lost 1 pound on 4 weeks. BUT I will not be disheartened.
I got cheered on my “mummy run” this morning by another mum who said she never sees anyone doing that, well done. I got cheered up by my Twitter pals who have been the voices of encouragement for me.
So, here we go people. Follow me as I change my life around? I may need your help.
PS this is not me, I look much more sweaty and much less cool.